Tired
by YulianaHenderson
Summary: "He wouldn't be selfish, not now. He knew Teresa had a tough time too sometimes. He shouldn't focus on himself but only on her." Sequel to 'We'll be alright'. Established Jisbon. Rated K.


**A/N: Yeah, one-shot time :D. Little (define little, it's not a drabble :D) sequel to 'We'll be alright', because people wanted to see Jane and Lisbon with a little baby :D.**

**I do admit that the nerves for 5x02 are completely tearing me apart already. And I have to wait 8 hours or something to see the episode. Damn these time zones and damn Europe. Ugh.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

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Every now and then, Patrick Jane quickly glanced over at his wife, a warm, but small, smile spreading over his features as he did so.

Teresa Lisbon was cuddled into one side of the couch, laying in the fetus position and obviously fighting sleep while watching some underrated crime show on the TV.

Teresa allowed Patrick to see the real her at home. She wasn't the tough Senior Agent Teresa Lisbon here, she was just Teresa, tired of bossing around the entire day and keeping Patrick out of harm's way. Tired of mothering over their beautiful baby. Tired of being the hero all day long.

"Do you want to go upstairs, Teresa?" Patrick whispered, and he saw she startled slightly. She looked up, wiping at her eyes and Patrick's smile only grew wider. She looked adorable when she was sleepy.

She looked at the little sleeping beauty laying on Patrick's chest, and smiled an involuntary smile while she shook her head.

"There's no need in staying awake the entire evening, Teresa. Just because it's only eight pm, doesn't mean you have to go through to midnight just because you think you're supposed to. You could use some rest, and I'm serious, Teresa."

Teresa sighed, and sat up straight. She opened her mouth to say something, but then closed it again and instead just walked over to Patrick to place a brief kiss on his lips.

"Shall I take Tom with me?" she asked. Patrick shook his head.

"You go get changed, I'll change his diaper and then bring him to you in bed," Patrick said, leaving no room for discussion as it seemed, and Teresa rolled her eyes.

"You're not the boss of me, Jane," Teresa replied, and Patrick smiled.

"At work I'm not. At home, I am your boss. You will starve to death if I don't tell you eat sometimes. We don't want that, now do we?"

Teresa rolled her eyes.

"You're really weird," she laughed as she walked up the stairs.

-YulianaHenderson-

Teresa sighed, but not because she was feeling reluctance or sadness or anything negative. She was just too happy, she'd never figured that she would feel like this one day.

She scooped closer, and smiled when Patrick tightened his hold on her waist a little more – like he wasn't already almost pulverizing her. Little Tom was on Patrick's chest again, and was peacefully sleeping.

"I don't want him to have blonde hair," Patrick whispered in her ear.  
"Why not?"

"Because he then looks like me. I want him to look like you," he said, and stroked Teresa's upper arm.

"Wh-"

"Because you're beautiful. And though I must say I'm not so bad-looking either, you're a photo model compared to me."

Teresa rolled her eyes. She sighed contently again, and buried her face in the crook of Patrick's neck, wrapping her arms around his waist without touching their son.

"How do I deserve you, Patrick?" Teresa murmured in Patrick's neck, and his hand went from her arm to around her waist again. Patrick placed a small kiss in her hair.

"I ask myself that question too," he replied, and she tilted her head to look at him, a frown on her face.

"I don't know why I deserve _you_ either. I have been so horrible to you for so many years that it wouldn't have surprised me if you'd hated me forever. But you didn't hate me, quite the contrary," he said, looking at Tom briefly. "You're too good of a person, Teresa, and all I am is garbage."

"That's not true. We're _both_ garbage," Teresa corrected. Patrick smiled.

"Okay, if you say so. I don't agree on it, though. But you're the good person here, Teresa."

"If you weren't a good person, would I have loved you?" Teresa asked, and Patrick smiled.

"I guess not."

"You guessed right."

They fell into a comfortable silence again, looking at their son while they were both fighting sleep.

All of a sudden, Patrick changed the mood by saying:

"It's difficult sometimes, you know?"

Teresa once again looked up to meet his eyes, but almost gasped when she saw they were full of tears.

"It's difficult to look at Tom sometimes. Even though he is a boy, he still reminds me of Charlotte at times."

He paused, taking in a few deep breaths to get rid of the tears again. "I love you, and Tom, very much even. But I still love them too."

Teresa nodded, and scooted upwards the bed to meet him at his eye-level. She placed a kiss on his forehead, and then brushed his cheek while she spoke.

"I know that you still love them. I couldn't expect less. But you need to stop punishing yourself like that. We're a family, and Angela and Charlotte belong in that picture as well."

"But it feels like I'm not fair towards you-"

"When we find Red John, I'll let him suffer, Patrick. For everyone. For the team, for you, and for Angela and Charlotte – especially for them. Because if you hadn't had Angela, you wouldn't have left the carnie life and I wouldn't have met you. They still love you, wherever they are. And I'm sure they are happy for you that you moved on. Don't be so hard on yourself, Patrick. Please. I love you."

Patrick took in a trembling breath, and kissed Teresa sweetly.

"I don't deserve you-"

"But you have me now. So stop saying that," she replied, matter-of-factly, and Patrick couldn't help but smile.

He wouldn't be selfish, not now. He knew Teresa had a tough time too sometimes. He shouldn't focus on himself but only on her.

Because without her, he would be dead.

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**A/N: REVIEW, please!**


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